A day in the life

sabado, 10 de julio

Yesterday was a pretty interesting day, with a wide range of activities and emotions. I want to share this with you - and in more detail than usual - because I think this might give you some indication of what we are truly experiencing and feeling about our time here. I've heard from some of you that my posts are always positive - that's true. Yet, that's not always representative of my true feelings. Getting used to these differences, as noted in the last post, is very difficult. Also, equally difficult for me has been finding God in all of this. True, you can serve in the church or in your community and still not be sure where God is in your life or how God is or should be guiding your way. As was recently mentioned to me, it's necessary that we find God as our anchor in our life experiences - through good and bad. And it was through God's grace and mercy that I found myself uplifted yesterday - hopefully long enough to remember that I am here to serve and to receive, to be a blessing and to be blessed. On to the story.

We knew the plan as of Friday night - on Saturday morning, we needed to be ready to leave at 8:30 AM to walk to Eliud's school for an awards ceremony to recognize those graduating seniors from his high school. After everyone was ready, we left our house at 9:05, arriving at the school around 9:20. We found our seats inside an open, but partially covered section of the school in what seemed to be the "courtyard" where chairs had been placed for guests. This space faced the backdrop and "stage" area up the steps immediately in front of us. We waited, watching the teachers and administrators of the school get all the decorations together and set-up while people were coming in. The just-in-time method seems to be pretty common here. Just before the program was about to begin, they turned on some music which was extremely loud, and I suppose was to set the tone...it turned out to be Barry White - You're my Everything. I don't know about you, but we were totally surprised, sending us into a somewhat controlled laughter. Soon thereafter, after noting that Barry "Blanco" White was playing for the ceremony we could no longer control ourselves. We were hysterical. This was just the beginning of interesting things to occur during this somewhat formal event. People were coming and going like it was some sort of sporting event, walking all over the stage area and anywhere else to take pictures, to get snacks and drinks (although I'm not sure from where because there was no cafeteria or vending machines, or to go to the bathroom, and almost always blocking the view of others. The next exciting part of the program was when several girls - students in the school - came out on two different occasions to dance for us. It was some sort of belly-dancing with way too exotic outfits for a school event - at least in my opinion. Again, we couldn't contain our emotion. We just didn't understand what was going on. Miranda noted that her thought was that we had finally entered the next universe...and we quickly concurred! Finally, as the program wrapped up, a Mariachi Band - that was equally loud and good, preventing any sort of conversation from there on out - came out on stage and played for the rest of the time, while we celebrated with the future graduates and ate lunch (or breakfast - since it was 11:30).

Later in the day, I think the three of us hit our max - our patience was completely exhausted and we were at our wits end. We were anxious in our own ways after we returned from Eliud's program. Miranda needed to finish her sermon; Bobby was ready to talk to Amanda (his fiancee who is serving in a similar program in El Salvador); and I was ready to get out of the house. The last thing I wanted to do was sit still and rest - more or less, that was most of what we had done all last week. The fastest way to send me over the edge is to "coop" me up in a location where I feel isolated from things going on out in the world. And as you might have expected, that's what we did - we went back to the house and just sat around. I did start (for the 2nd time) a book I bought at the recommendation of our Old Testament Professor about Jesus as a Jew and the significance for Christians. A few pages in and I was ready for a nap, so I put my head back and closed my eyes for a few minutes. A few minutes later I woke up feeling the need to move myself and my books to my room. After moving from room to room a few times looking for a "quiet" spot (FYI - there are no quiet spots in Mexico), I decided on Bobby's & Eliud's room. I could sleep, at least until someone opened the door looking for Eliud. Eventually, I ended up in my room trying to go back to sleep for just a bit. That attempt lasted for about 10 minutes until I woke up with tears streaming down my face. With Miranda working beside me (in her bed), she asked what was wrong.

As I took a second to gather myself, I said, "I just want to go home. I want to see my family. I want to see David. I want the peace and quiet of home. I don't want to hear loud speakers, music or anyone else in this family (including the three of us) talking to each other. I'm just sick of it. And as bad as I want to get up and walk around, the noise just gets worse when you go outside. It's everywhere. Mexico is still EVERYWHERE - this won't change no matter where we go, whether we sit in this bed or go elsewhere." I had had all I could take and there was NO refuge. There are few moments in my life when I have felt so strongly about something that I wanted it to end; this was one of those times. I would have given anything to have left this place at that moment.

So Miranda listened and I cried until we heard a knock on the door - we knew exactly what it was...it was Sonia coming to ask about lunch, which seemed to have been worked out after our conversation. I said I wasn't hungry and Miranda said that she was going to cook macaroni and cheese.

After my meltdown, I got up and quickly decided I was going somewhere and by myself if I had to. Fortunately, Bobby was willing and interested to go - we set out for the Panaderia for sweets (although nothing here compares to our sweets - it's like the sugar is missing in most of the desserts). Anyway, that plan seemed to subside the other emotions. Bobby and I were rejoicing in our walk alone and to get a "treat." We had decided to go to a coffee shop to eat our cake and hang out for a while until I had to be back for our Methodism class at 6:00 PM, giving us plenty of time for that as well as a quick pedicure (for me) too. But, unfortunately, we couldn't find anywhere that was open, and plus, it had just started to rain for maybe the 20th time in 3 days (I'm not exaggerating). Not wanting to sit in the rain, we decided that our only option was to return home to enjoy our sweets. So, we were nearly in the front door when Miranda (who was cooking batch #2 of her mac and cheese) stuck her head out the window to say that we had guests. Bobby and I immediately went into a tailspin - not only were we NOT going to get to eat our cake, but we knew that we would have to sit down and eat with everyone and talk - in Spanish, of course. I just about flipped out - I just couldn't take anymore. I had really wanted to run, but settled for cake instead. Now, I wasn't going to get either without eating a second lunch and praying and speaking in Spanish with our new "friends." Welcome to the world of pastors in Mexico - organized chaos, never knowing what's coming next or when. (I don't think Sonia or Jorge knew these people were going to come over for lunch either.)

Shortly after lunch (and after the guests left), we had our cake, enjoying every bite. There must have been some sugar in it because I was so quick to jump up with enthusiasm to clean the kitchen - which had become rather dirty with multiple meals-worth of dishes in and around the sink. We joyfully cleaned as we rehearsed the entire soundtrack of the 'Sound of Music,' singing to the tops of our lungs. (I'm pretty sure we had all lost our minds by that point!)

I promise there is hope in this story and it's coming, but not without one more hilarious, but very frustrating story about our second walk on the town. After the cleaning party, Bobby and I set out again - primarily to go back to the Panaderia for more sweets for later. (All I can figure is that I either have acquired a tapeworm or my multiple weekly visits to the gym and park are increasing my metabolism.) So, we're walking along on our way back when I hear this thud of something hitting metal...which is not an unusual sound, except that it sounded awfully close. I turned around to see what it was and Bobby was bent over holding onto his head. "Oh NO!" And yes, it had happened...on a very low metal awning, he had hit his head - HARD! He didn't say anything at first and I asked if he was OK. All he said was "$%# $#@% short people! I don't fit into any of their seats. I have to ride in a bus for three hours one way with my legs turned sideways because my legs won't fit in the seats the right way." - Bobby used very clear words to describe his frustration! He had lost it by that point and I kept composure for long enough to know that he was alright. But then, I completely lost it. Again, we were laughing hysterically because of what he said - it's true. Compared to us, Mexicans are short, and it's difficult for him wherever we go.

So, we finally returned back home with just enough time for me to take a shower before the Methodism class - Miranda had decided to play hookey so she could finish her sermon. I was less than excited about going by myself or with her - remember, we hardly understand anything in Spanish at a fast pace - and I wanted to attend the fellowship time afterwards even less. I just wanted to go back to my room and sit on my bed. I didn't want to talk to ANYONE!

Well, God had other ideas. I went - a few minutes late - to the lecture. True, I didn't understand very much, but I did come to recognize a few things while I was sitting there and then later during our time of fellowship.

Whether the three of us feel this way or not, this opportunity is un regalo de Dios (a gift from God). No matter what it seems like at times, it is critical for us to treat this time in Mexico as a gift - to learn, to worship, to pray, to grow in our faith. All of this is why we are here. We are to respect this time and to recognize it as what God has given to us and what God expects us to do as a result of having received this gift. It's not about what I want to do or not do - whether I want to participate in the fellowship time or to preach each Sunday. This is about me being a good steward of this precious gift that I have been given. So, I'm doing my best. The fellowship time turned out to be another gift for me, as I sat with Miguel (our English-speaking lay leader friend in the church) and Esteban. Miguel is great for conversation - especially when you aren't exactly in the mood to talk. He pulls out questions, which are often easier to answer than it is for us to listen to others talk. So, in my broken, but somewhat improving Spanish, I talked with them about my true feelings here in Mexico - which are positive mostly - and also about my frustrations in not understanding the language or being able to talk to people on a deeper level. They both seemed to understand. Esteban was interested in our work as seminarians and the difficulties we had in preaching - in general, not just with the Spanish language. As we were leaving, he offered to have us over for a meal at his home sometime during the week.

My prayers had been answered. God had shown me what I was looking for, yet only when I had been ready to listen and receive. Sometimes, we tend to be so focused on the future and how the GRAND plans might work out that we miss the "smaller" blessings that sustain us from day-to-day. I believe if I continue to seek these blessings, I will have learned exactly what God had intended all along - it's about the day-to-day. It's about the people you encounter day-to-day, both loved ones and strangers. It's about what you are called to do and whether you recognize this call and follow day-to-day. Life is tough, whether you're here in Mexico or at home in the "comfort" of your daily routine. Please remember the small blessings; they may just be what you're seeking, but failing to recognize as gifts from God.

Well, I didn't get my pedicure and I still miss my family, but thanks be to God for a wonderful day yesterday and a renewed spirit to keep pushing forward in this race of life.